Oops....

I know it’s been awhile, but I am back, and I am blogging.

Over the last three months I have been trying to get back into my life in Fort McMurray. I have tried some new things, like pottery, knitting, and running a small fitness group. I have let go of a few old things and I am trying to re – gain my foothold on parts of my life that I took a break from. Work has been one of them and it has been a challenge.

Return to work its, something that is not uncommon be it sick leave, maternity leave or just an extended vacation. Coming back to work is something that many people do. I underestimated how difficult it would be. I was away for almost 10 months, I went through a lot of personal changes during that time, and I came back a different person. This week I got sick, I stayed home a couple of days and it forced me to slow down and take stock. I recognized I was still trying to find my place at work; I was still trying to slot myself in to a “role” or a “job”. My work needs to be a healthy relationship, with balance, boundaries. It needs to have the same give and take that any healthy relationship would have. So when I sit at my desk, surrounded by these strange artifacts of a past life that I can barely even relate to, I need to work to make sure that I am doing the best I can to have a healthy work relationship.

The other thing that has taken up my time is reading. I am considering writing a book, so I thought I should at least read a few. For me, I am interested in how I make sure I don’t relapse to my old habits, making sure I don’t go back down the destructive path as such, I have been reading self help, organization book, and other life coaching advice books. Some of it has been helpful, some of it not so much. I am almost tempted to write a book entitled “The Ugliness of Self Care” because in my experience Self care is not wine, in a bubble bath, with candles and Ania playing. Self care is budgeting spreadsheets, getting sweaty at the gym doing an exercise I hate, eating every boring vegetable, drinking water and keeping my house clean.

It making time for things like my blog, it’s taking time to connect with people, its avoiding the Netflix trap and not trying to hard to force myself into something I thing I should be doing. It’s little choices. So while we head into the holiday season, I have an interesting path ahead.

 

SF

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